I Promise I'll B Here 2 Da Very End [entries|friends|calendar] Jon [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[24 Apr 2005|04:46pm] Yeah ok... i think ima retire my livejournal... it jus doesnt like.. fit me nemore.. i think ima stick with xanga from now on... but das all folks..... nothin else left 2 say here 1 | hang at 7-11

yeah........ [02 Apr 2005|12:40pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Brian McKnight- One Last Cry ] I havent updated this jont for a while.. i thik dis is a good time 2... So yeah... alotta stuff goin through my mind rite now... i dont realli want 2 talk about it unless its some1 i realli trust... IM me if u think you're 1 of the ppl i trust n mayb i'll tell u depending on who u r.... hang at 7-11

Yeah........ [11 Mar 2005|07:52pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | My Chemical Romance: Im Not Ok ] ok yeah.... Day ruined jus liek tht... by 1 person... how can 1 person stand 2 c some1 suffer??? i jus dunno how... he all pissd at me still... i realli dun like it.... i dint want 2 talk 2 him.. but he forced me 2... n now he goes in2 start talkin shit.... if u guess tht it was alex stezar u r correct AStezar: whats anh's cell #? EnGMaStA: y EnGMaStA: dude EnGMaStA: dont talk 2 me AStezar: its just a number EnGMaStA: umm EnGMaStA: da no talking policy still in affect EnGMaStA: so im jus not gona talk AStezar: no, ur going to be an ass AStezar: what im askin is not talking, it is information AStezar: but if u want to be a fucking shit head about it, thats you EnGMaStA: hey EnGMaStA: when i try askin u somethin EnGMaStA: u say umm dont talk 2 me EnGMaStA: so if das da way u treat me EnGMaStA: how bout i jus treat u da same way AStezar: that cause u never ask me nething importent AStezar: i realllllyl need this number EnGMaStA: 4 wht AStezar: i dont quite believe thats ne of ur business AStezar: just please give me the number, jon EnGMaStA: ohh EnGMaStA: so after u been yellin at me constantly EnGMaStA: u want me 2 help u AStezar: i want you to be a normal human being, and help someone who needs it AStezar: like i di for you EnGMaStA: uve never helpd me EnGMaStA: u jus keep askin y EnGMaStA: y EnGMaStA: y AStezar: lol, all to many times EnGMaStA: or EnGMaStA: i dont want 2 EnGMaStA: or EnGMaStA: dont talk 2 me AStezar: are you going to tell me or not AStezar: cause i really cant mess around EnGMaStA: well EnGMaStA: tell me y EnGMaStA: n mayb i'll tell u AStezar: fucker AStezar: i cannot believe you,lol AStezar: u screwin up someones life right now, and u dont even flinch AStezar: i could never do that EnGMaStA: yeh EnGMaStA: u screwed m y life up AStezar: lol, what the fuck i do to you EnGMaStA: well EnGMaStA: y u pissd at me then EnGMaStA: wtf do we evedn fight about EnGMaStA: i dont kno EnGMaStA: u shoudl kno EnGMaStA: cuz uve started it EnGMaStA: i tried 2 b nice AStezar: i dont have time for this, man EnGMaStA: but noo u jus had 2 keep shovin it down my throat of how bad i am EnGMaStA: ok thenh EnGMaStA: tell me why EnGMaStA: u always make me tell u y EnGMaStA: so tell me y AStezar: umm, no. blackmail never works on me AStezar: sry, ho EnGMaStA: dude EnGMaStA: dont push it AStezar: push what EnGMaStA: u can call me whtever u want EnGMaStA: i wont care AStezar: then shut it EnGMaStA: jus dont go so far EnGMaStA: or ima kill u AStezar: right EnGMaStA: dont get me angry man EnGMaStA: ive had a realli good day AStezar: lol, kill me AStezar: i really dont care nemore EnGMaStA: yeh i kno your scared EnGMaStA: u jus laff it off EnGMaStA: cuz its aim EnGMaStA: n u can type whtever u want EnGMaStA: without others seein yoru emotions AStezar: w/e, man, ill never be scared uf u AStezar: ur nothing to be scared of EnGMaStA: u make no sense EnGMaStA: if u had ne guts AStezar: even if u do manage to hit me, all thattl do is screw u over EnGMaStA: n yoru not scared EnGMaStA: ok if u haf ne guts... n your not scared of me.. then y can we make a truce huh? EnGMaStA: thts wht real men do EnGMaStA: r u scared EnGMaStA: i think u r AStezar: lol, no wonder people say ur dunb EnGMaStA: u dun take it liek a man would n get a truce AStezar: cause u kno nothing EnGMaStA: well im smarter than u r AStezar: w/e EnGMaStA: at least im goin 2 college here EnGMaStA: not da 1 das gonna b dirtpoor AStezar: lol, keep it commin, im sure thats what REAL men do AStezar: hahahahaha EnGMaStA: whtever EnGMaStA: u take everything like a 5 year old EnGMaStA: u dont kno how 2 talk EnGMaStA: u dont kno how 2 compromise EnGMaStA: wht good 4 u EnGMaStA: wht good came outta u EnGMaStA: nothing AStezar: morgans still alive, marie is still alive AStezar: anh got herself a bf EnGMaStA: i kno tht AStezar: lol, that was cause of me EnGMaStA: i think i kno tht anh has a bf EnGMaStA: no AStezar: all of it EnGMaStA: yeh right EnGMaStA: it was me ok AStezar: ask morgan EnGMaStA: i got morgan with tht dude EnGMaStA: basically EnGMaStA: i got them 2 meet EnGMaStA: i let them dance da whole time EnGMaStA: it didnt baother me AStezar: lol, u got morgan wit the dude, i kept her alive long enough to get to the dance EnGMaStA: at least im not jealous EnGMaStA: so did i AStezar: lol, didnt bother her either, cause she didnt want to go with you EnGMaStA: its not jus u AStezar: she felt bad for you EnGMaStA: i dint realli care AStezar: haha, u shoulda heard her AStezar: pitty, tis a funny thing EnGMaStA: whtever EnGMaStA: im happy now EnGMaStA: cuz i got my gf EnGMaStA: n im fine with tht AStezar: haha, thats nice EnGMaStA: yeh EnGMaStA: it reall iis AStezar: now talk to me in a week when shes gone, and ur upset again EnGMaStA: yeh right AStezar: then we can see how u are,lol EnGMaStA: i bet u want 2 call anh EnGMaStA: n tell her all the shit about me EnGMaStA: 2 get her 2 leave EnGMaStA: wht a great person tht is EnGMaStA: yorue jus the worst person ever AStezar: *sniff* i couldent be happier AStezar: ur so nice, little engy wengy EnGMaStA: stop sucking up AStezar: aww, id love to squeez ur cheeks right now AStezar: hahahahahahahahaha AStezar: suck up to you? AStezar: ha EnGMaStA: dude AStezar: that will be the day EnGMaStA: stop foolin around EnGMaStA: i kno u ok AStezar: lol, whose foolin EnGMaStA: i kno wht u do AStezar: u kno nothing EnGMaStA: yoru da 1 foolin EnGMaStA: actin a fool AStezar: and thats whats funny AStezar: cause u think u kno me, when really, only morgan and stephany really kno me AStezar: and thier not talking AStezar: so im quite curious as to why u think u kno me EnGMaStA: i could care les EnGMaStA: ur jus da 1 der tryin 2 ruin my life AStezar: lol, ruin,huh? EnGMaStA: jus so u can drag every1 down with u with your misery AStezar: lol, misery is something i do not have right no AStezar: w EnGMaStA: yeh u do EnGMaStA: yoru note with steph EnGMaStA: n i realli could care less AStezar: lol, how would u kno EnGMaStA: do wht u want EnGMaStA: cuz i kno EnGMaStA: i haf my ways EnGMaStA: dont laff it off EnGMaStA: i haf frends EnGMaStA: they tell me stuff AStezar: lol, w/e EnGMaStA: yeh theyre u go laffin it off again AStezar: i kno what i hear, and u cant change dat EnGMaStA: good 4 u AStezar: i laugh everything of AStezar: f EnGMaStA: i realli dun care ok AStezar: whats the point of taking things seriously AStezar: i mean, its just you EnGMaStA: things should b taken seriously if u want 2 b successful in dis world AStezar: lol, only things that are importent EnGMaStA: yes AStezar: and you, my friend, are not EnGMaStA: well then EnGMaStA: if im so not important EnGMaStA: then yd u IM me EnGMaStA: hmm? AStezar: cause i needed a number AStezar: and u were the only one on iwt it EnGMaStA: n u shoudl tell me y EnGMaStA: ohh EnGMaStA: so now im da onli 1 with her number EnGMaStA: n u sed.. u could ask other ppl EnGMaStA: liar EnGMaStA: wht a lie AStezar: lol, i said online. i kno many fone numbers AStezar: i dont feel like callin em tho EnGMaStA: well so do i EnGMaStA: so then y u want the number EnGMaStA: if u dun feel like callin AStezar: why would u care that i called her, if ur so sure about her love for you AStezar: true love cannot be broken,lol EnGMaStA: no shit EnGMaStA: it cant b broken AStezar: then why u woried EnGMaStA: i dont care AStezar: then why ask EnGMaStA: i dont even want 2 talk 2 u AStezar: or are u being an ass EnGMaStA: unless u want 2 jus b normal again EnGMaStA: r u normal? AStezar: lol, im never diffrent EnGMaStA: ]if u were normal.. ud settle this dispute the right way AStezar: lol like what, threats and insults? AStezar: u think iwant to be friends with you? AStezar: u think i want to give you the pleasure? AStezar: ha, id rather see u writhe in pain AStezar: BUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AStezar: lol, fun laugh AStezar: dont u think? lol EnGMaStA: not realli AStezar: lol, focorse not EnGMaStA: its always enjoyable most 4 da person thts doin da callin AStezar: right, well i already called her, so... lol AStezar: haha,what now? EnGMaStA: i dont care EnGMaStA: so wht EnGMaStA: its not liek u ruined my day Yeh... great... i think bcuz of wht ive heard... morgan hates me now.... n my rents r yellin at me tht id make a shitty bf... n den he hasta go n say: AStezar: now talk to me in a week when anhs gone, and ur upset again See... im tryin so hard 2 b nice 2 him.. but he jus keeps it comin.. i realli dont want nething 2 do with him.. if my frends r frends with him das ok.. i respect tht... but jus dont try n mess up my life... if u want 2 b a therapist.. y u gotta make ppl feel bad hmm?...... uve made my day in2 a bad day again... i realli dun appreciate it.... im toleratinig u up 2 a certain level.... but u cna onli go so far... n dont push it..... ughh... great.. now i haf a headache... along with this throbbing pain in my head... it realli hurts... i jus cant take much more of this ok...my head hurts... i should prob lie down or somethin hang at 7-11

quick entry [09 Mar 2005|08:36pm] [ mood | cheerufull ] [ music | Nelly- Over and Over ] YO quick entry Answer dis jont [[01.]] Who Are You?:: [[02.]] How Do You Know Me?:: [[03.]] What Am I to You?:: [[04.]] Whats My Name?:: [[05.]] Whats My Middle Name?:: [[06.]] What is My DOB?:: [[07.]] Where do I go to School?:: [[08.]] What Grade Am I In?:: [[09.]] What was Your First Impression About Me?:: [[10.]] Does Any Song Remind You of Me?:: [[11.]] Am I Nice?:: [[12.]] Am I Athletic?:: [[13.]] What Sports Do I Play?:: [[14.]] Can You Always Count on Me?:: [[15.]] Am I Lazy?:: [[16.]] Am I Flirty?:: [[17.]] Have I Ever Had My Heart Broken?:: [[18.]] Am I Single or Taken?:: [[19.]] Would You Want Me as a Girlfriend/Boyfriend?:: [[20.]] Am I Hot or Ugly?:: [[21.]] Can You Talk to Me About All Your Problems?:: [[22.]] Does Any Song Remind You of Me?:: [[23.]] On a Scale of 1-10 with 10 being the Highest, How Well Do You Know Me?:: [[24.]] Describe Me in One Word?:: [[25.]] Final Question… Do You Love Me?:: 1 | hang at 7-11

[05 Mar 2005|09:18pm] [ mood | thankful ] [ music | Jim Brickman- If You Believe ] The 7 wonders of the world 1. to see 2. to hear 3. to touch 4. to taste 5. to feel 6. to laff 7. to love **The things we overlook as simple and ordinary as they can b... we take for granted at how truly wondrous they realli are** **But the most precious things in life cannot b built by hand or bought by man... but found within the heart** Da First Treasure Your life its much More important then you can imagine it is your first treasure Cherish it hang at 7-11

NA [02 Mar 2005|09:23pm] [ mood | pissd ] Whatever....... hang at 7-11

Here and Now [27 Feb 2005|10:35pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Luther Vandross- Here and Now ] HAHA Ok... u all by now should kno who these songs remind me of....... yeh Luther Vandross- Here and Now when I look in your eyes there I see Just what you mean to me Here in my heart I believe Your love is all I'll ever need Holdin' you close through the night I need you, yeah I look in your eyes and there I see What happiness really means The love that we share makes life so sweet Together we'll always be This pledge of love feels so right And, ooh, I need you Here and now I promise to love faithfully You're all I need Here and now I vow to be one with thee You and me, hey Your love is all I need Say, yeah, yeah... When I look in your eyes, there I'll see All that a love should really be And I need you more and more each day Nothin' can take your love away More than I dare to dream I need you Here and now I promise to love faithfully You're all I need Here and now I vow to be one with thee, You and me, yeah Your love is all I need Ooh, and I'm starting now I believe [I believe in love], I believe [Starting here] I'm starting right here [Starting now] Right now because I believe in your love So I'm glad to take the vow Here and now, oh I promise to love faithfully You're all I need Here and now, yeah I vow to be one with thee, You and me, yeah Your love is all I need 1 | hang at 7-11

yes.... [23 Feb 2005|10:07pm] [ mood | happy... but tired ] [ music | Michael Bolton- Tell me how im supposed to live without you ] I love this song!!! Michael Bolton- How am i supposed 2 live without you I could hardly believe it When I heard the news today I had to come and get it straight from you They said you were leavin' Someone swept your heart away From the look upon your face I see it's true So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin' Then tell me one thing more before I go Tell me how am I supposed to live without you Now that I've been lovin' you so long How am I supposed to live without you How am I supposed to carry on When all that I've been livin' for is gone I didn't come here for cryin' Didn't come here to breakdown It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end And how can I blame you When I built my world around The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming When even now it's more than I can take Tell me how am I supposed to live without you Now that I've been lovin' you so long How am I supposed to live without you How am I supposed to carry on When all that I've been livin' for is gone And I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming Now that your dream has come true Tell me how am I supposed to live without you Now that I've been lovin' you so long How am I supposed to live without you How am I supposed to carry on When all that I've been livin' for is gone Haha... anh.. tht song is like.. 4 u lol... remmember it! lol hang at 7-11

Quick recap [22 Feb 2005|10:03pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Luther Vandross- Here and Now ] Ok so not much time 2 type but heres a quick recap of wht happened dis weekend Friday Went 2 school... had some ppl over n chilld... quite fun..typical friday night Saturday Went around lookin at different gyms... fitness first, rockville fitness center, bally total fitness.... came bak n talkd online... play guitar n piano... Sunday Joined the Fitness First gym in olney.. now i can go 2 ne fitness first place in MD!!!! SCORE...... ok umm so i did those weird ab workout thingys and leg and strength workouts...... den i had 2 come home n study... later tht night talkd 2 anh.. tht made my day alot better :):):) Monday Went bak 2 da gym for more lifting n stuff....fun stuff... got more used 2 da things they got here... n den came home n did a lil studying.... and then chilld da resta da night Tuesday Went 2 school...ughh..then went 2 da gym...again... rents orders.... ok den studied...spent about 2 hours on da fone after dat..... n now im here OK so thas a quick recap of my weekend... so yeah.. pretty boring hang at 7-11

yayyyyyyy [20 Feb 2005|10:00pm] [ mood | soooo happy ] [ music | Kci n Jojo- All My Life ] im so happy now.... its unbelievable :):):):) YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 | hang at 7-11

yeah [18 Feb 2005|10:25pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | 50 Cent- Disco Inferno ] Yeah.. jus updatin dis stoopid shit... still in da same crummy mood... even tho i dint seem like it earlier 2day.... still sorta pissd at some select ppl.... still thinkin bout dat some1... so much goin through my mind..... jus thinkin bout so much shit... its im jus like lost inside my own mind rite now...i jus havent realli felt like doin nething much... so lets c wht im thinking about #1 grandpa #2 Family #3 Friends #4 That some1 #5 My own problems #6 Skool work #7 About life #8 Suicide... nething related 2 death Yeah as u can c.. im not in da greatest mood n stuff...still... 1 | hang at 7-11

[17 Feb 2005|09:24pm] [ mood | Blinded by da pain ] [ music | My Chemical Romance: Im Not Ok ] urgh... 2 many problems right now... so much 2 handle... i dunno wht 2 do.. i got 3 frends tht r practically depressed... then i got my own fucking problems 2 deal with... urghh i jus hate this world.... it aint helpful.... it sux.. life sux... i suck... every1 sucks... darryll.... god damit... jus stay the fuck away from this prob between alex n me... im trin 2 b frends... y dont u take a fuckin look EnGMaStA: dude seriously man truce EnGMaStA: im sick of hating each other EnGMaStA: n bein like mad n shit AStezar: umm, dont talk to me? EnGMaStA: umm c exactly EnGMaStA: im tryin 2 b nice EnGMaStA: but no EnGMaStA: u still angry at me EnGMaStA: i dunn even kno wht ive done 2 u 2 make u pissd at me EnGMaStA: all i want is 2 stopp the hating n jus b normal AStezar: and i am too, cause if i continue to talk to you, i will yell, and cuss, and scream untill i pass out on the floor EnGMaStA: b frends again AStezar: so, dont talk to me? EnGMaStA: coem on dude seriously EnGMaStA: jus call it quits EnGMaStA: jus b like frends again AStezar: umm, dont talk to me, man AStezar: cause i sure as hell dont want to talk to you now C HOW FUCKING UNHELPFUL MY LIFE IS... this is wht i get for tryin 2 b frends with some1 tht hates me tht i dun even kno wht i did 2 them 2 get them pissd at me... great... ppl depressed... alex is pissd STILL ... at me... i mean im tryin 2 c da good side in him.... but no... like.. i think every1 has a good side... n hes jus.. gawd.... im jus like sittin here havin a nervous breakdown tryin 2 help out ppl n help out myself..... u all dont kno how badly u affect me... u c me as fine on da outside.. but im realli hurting on da inside... jus knowin my frends r depressed (not listin ppl) breaks my total concentration doin nething and EVERYTHING.... i took me 3 hours jus 2 get through my fucking spanish hw 2day b cuz of all these prolems.......great now im all :'( like tht n shit.. i cant take this nemore...... urgh... mayb i should jus go hang myself like i had planned...i already haf da rope n everything... jus step outta dis equation n b fine...not hafta worry about it.. not haf ppl bitchin 2 me 4 help... i thi8nk das a good idea... hang myself.. N MAKE EVERY1 FUCKING HAPPY HOW U LIEK THT WORLD?!?!?! HUH!!!! HOW U LIEK THT GOD DAMMIT i always thought my frends were my antidrug... my anti everything... but i guess not..FUCK THIS LIFE IM THROUGH TRYIN... oh yeh.. 1 othe rhting.. if u want 2 fucking kno who i like.. then ask me... urghh.. 1 | hang at 7-11

hmm [16 Feb 2005|09:54pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Eric Clapton- Wonderful Tonight ] i heard da song Wonderful Tonight by eric clapton.... n i jus thought bout dat special some1 i'll never have......sigh....... 1 | hang at 7-11

blah [15 Feb 2005|09:47pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Jet- Look What You've Done ] WTF?? 4 some reason i jus feel different.. y am i listenin 2 emotional sad music?? i dont kno y... so heres some songs tht im like listenin 2 rite now -Jet: Look What You've Done -Eric Clapton: Wonderful Tonight -Kci n Jojo: All My Life yeah... i dont kno y im listenin 2 these kinda songs... but yeah.. hang at 7-11

Thoughts on a Song [14 Feb 2005|08:52pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | My Chemical Romance: Im Not Ok ] Yeah been havin a few thoughts goin through my mindtht nite slo dancin 2 dat song all my life by kci n jojo....... here they are U kno... it felt good bein able 2 hold some1 tht nite..... it jus gave me 1 of those feelings... u kno?? tht some1 cares 4 me n stuff... jus holding her or basically ne1 of my frends tht i love made me feel like i could protect her from a storm.... it jus made me feel good knowin tht i care 4 some1 n they care 4 me bak yeah.. i mean like.. jus havin some1 2 hold makes u feel so much better tht u care n they care... even 4 jus tht moment...i wish i could have tht kinda moment bak... its 1 of those moments u have once in life n u cherish a lifetime tht dance was a first for me 1 | hang at 7-11

Quick Pic [13 Feb 2005|07:06pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Kci n Jojo- All My Life ] Yo.. waddup Heres a quick pic i got from winter formal yesterday Morgan n me dancing while anne takes r pic.. tht was fun wasnt it? Hah.. u kno u liked it.. lol 1 | hang at 7-11

Photobucket [13 Feb 2005|06:09pm] This is a test post from Photobucket.com hang at 7-11

shit [12 Feb 2005|03:08pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | Nelly- Over and Over ] shit yo... wf has arrived.... ok well its about another 5 hours till da dance starts... and 3 hours till i meet up with my frends n eat b4 hand..... so im thinkin da dance will b fun... hopefully da suit fits fine.. n hopefully we dun get lost on da way 2 her house... but yeah das like.. all 4 now.. n OH i finally was able 2 burn a dvd... im makin a second 1 now lol ok well... i think ima hafta get ready at lik 445... n leave at 530... i think das plenty of time... dont u? well for all those going and not going.. have fun doing whtever your doing!! hang at 7-11

1 more day...... [11 Feb 2005|11:33pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Green Day- Boulevard of Broken Dreams ] yeah 1 more day.... actually another few hours b4 winter formal... i dun even kno if my suit fits yet.... i hafta find out n shit.... but i leave dat up 2 2morro.... so 2day was so boring... well da school part of it was... geometry...religion...spanish...history... OMG i hate gold days... its a lecture all day... but den... partay... tht was fun... ok das all i cant type nemore peace 2 | hang at 7-11

yeah [08 Feb 2005|09:05pm] [ mood | .................. ] [ music | Stevie Wonder- You Are the Sunshine of my Life ] YO waddup... 2day was pretty boring..... standard normal day in da life of me ok so der was da BSA assembly... pretty tite... wasted 2 hours.... so we had liek hour long classes.... SCORE..... some dude started a fight n 1 dude was bleedin pretty badly... some junior or senior.... ok n den first period team sports... ULTIMATE FRISBY!! YEAH!!!! ok n den.... art... dint finish project.. shit.. now im workin on it here at home..:(.... ok umm....then Lit.... i slept almost all class cuz hes so boring.... den chem..... jus sat n talked 2 anh most of da time.... pretty boring class... n yeah.. thts been my boring day... thas pretty much how everyday of my life is... boring... 1 | hang at 7-11

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